I am very often reminded of how different God's thoughts are from my own. (Isaiah 55:8-9) But, probably never more than when I contemplate the command to forgive those who I perceive have wronged me.
The root of offense that leads to the tree of bitterness is not in the mind of God. Instead, He calls me to things that do not come naturally.
What He asks of me is counter-intuitive and counter-culture, but never counter-effective, for His thoughts are in and of themselves abundant life and the power to overcome.
What are His thoughts, then, on offense? What does He tell me to do when I am tempted to hold on to unforgiveness?
I have found there is a large portion of Scripture devoted to putting His thoughts before me on this very subject. Here are just a few of His instructions...
…I urge you to live a
life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle;
be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the
unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4: 1-3
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak
truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger
do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not
give the devil a foothold….Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your
mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit
of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all
bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of
malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as
in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians
4:25-32
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger. Proverbs 15:1
Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the Lord, and he
will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to
hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the
righteousness of God…. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his
tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. James
1:19-26
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their
trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15
Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without
which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace
of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it
many become defiled… Hebrews 12:14-15
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. Proverbs 10:12
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is
honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live
peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath
of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To
the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him
something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-21
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have
anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive
you your trespasses. Mark 11:25
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is
love. 1 John 4:8
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual
immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is
idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once
walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away:
anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to
one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices….Put
on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,
kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if
one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has
forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which
binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:5-14
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the
sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the
Lord. Leviticus 19:18
Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you
despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God;
for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and
every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of
himself to God. Romans 14:10
The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as
yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these. Mark 12:31
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be
satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed
are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called sons of God. Matthew 5:5-9
If you really fulfill the royal law according to the
Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well….So
speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. For
judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over
judgment. James 2:8-13
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit
is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good
to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do
the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit
is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But
love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your
reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to
the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.... Luke 6:31-42
Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same
love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit,
but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you
look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others… Philippinas 2:2-8
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one
who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not
commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not
covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love
your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is
the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13:8-10
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another:
just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people
will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my
brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said
to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your
neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for
those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in
heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain
on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward
do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only
your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do
the same? Matthew 5:43-48
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger
lodges in the bosom of fools. Ecclesiastes
7:9
Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it
tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for
the Lord shall inherit the land. Psalm 37:8-9
Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is
still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him
there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the
darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going,
because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2:9-11
Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who
speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and
judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a
judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to
destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? James 4:11-12
Let brotherly love continue. Hebrews 13:1
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who
are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on
yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill
the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he
deceives himself. Galatians 6:1-3
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable,
whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen
in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9
